“Should I date again?”
This is the question that has been floating around in my mind as of late. I decided that earlier this year I no longer had an interest in wanting to date or get married. And for the most part, that is still true.
Honestly, the way I feel this way is because I’ve never had good luck with dating. And even if I started to have good luck my insecurities would get the best of me and I’d back out of it with whoever I would be talking to and retreat. It’s just what I’ve done ever since my last breakup. I’ve built this huge brick wall all around my heart and can’t seem to break it down to give anyone a chance anymore.
I feel lately part of the reason I wouldn’t mind dating again is partly due to loneliness. The other part would be to have someone whom I can be my full self with and she can be her full self with also. I want someone who I can talk to and truly be there for me as I would be for her. With every passing year I doubt I would find someone like this. Those are some of the pro’s. The con’s are these days cheating and divorce are so common that I’m afraid (yes, afraid) of giving someone my all just to have one of those (or possibly both) happen to me in the long run if I were to meet someone. I feel I would never allow myself to ever date again if something drastic like that were to happen.
I feel even as I write this and try to figure out if I should allow myself to date again, it’s a small portion of me that wants to. The majority still wants to just remain single and just have fun while I can. I feel I know this answer already, but can’t seem to help but have this question run through my mind still.
On that note, thanks for reading. This is just a place for me to get what’s on my mind out there in a way I feel best.